"Forget about your sin, give the audience a grin"

The Chronicles of a Troll might mislead you into thinking one of two things: a) I spend most of my time surfing the internet while trollin', as many people like to put it and/or b) My aggression is a way to coop up with my passive existence, which obviously is devoid of any social life. Even though the latter is scarily accurate and might surprise a lot of people at how true it is, the statement that I'm a troll is unfortunately not. Frankly, I couldn't be a troll even if I wanted to, sadly I lack the balls, the humorless wit that somehow makes you think that miscarriages are funny and the demented social obligation to be a sardonic fuck.
Then why pick the name? Why go around calling myself a troll? It's pretty simple really. Anyone who has seen me smile can easily answer that. Yes, you guessed it; the title is not a product of a depraved-past-time but rather points out the fact that I have a fucking horrible grin. Simple, ain't it?
You could say that every time I smile, or at least try my best at it, a dog is run over by a pick-up truck as he fondly chases the ball his 7-year-old owner has thrown and if you think that's not enough to emotionally traumatize the little sucker, well, why not let me smile at him? That should do the trick! It sure as hell works on my nephews and nieces alike.
Seeing how you've read so far and this is my first post, I must say, firstly, you are fucking awesome and secondly, I'm not really a good writer in case you haven't noticed (Total shocker, I know right? Sorry it's always hard being sarcastic via text and not looking like a pompous prick). Fair warning.